Although my readers rarely chime in with constructive criticism (when this does begin to happen, prepare for erc to wield her "delete comment" key with the force of a thousand mouse-clicks), someone once mentioned to me that it might be nice if I devised some sort of regular installment. While the only regularity I've established thus far is a smattering of quasi-funny conversations with Mom and a detestable penchant for linking my own posts, this actually seems like a good habit to pick up. The guys over at Yesterday's Salad do a great job, bringing you titillating columns like Word of the Day and Who Should Write Superman?
So, with the intention of finally fulfilling this blog's hastily chosen name, I bring you the first regular feature at erc: THINGS I WON'T MISS ABOUT NEW HAVEN. It's timely (I'm graduating in one month), relevant (according to sitemeter, most of my readers live in the Elm City), and, of course, a pleasant outlet for my favorite pastime--things have gotten a little too mushy here at erc (see last post).
Without further ado:
1. The stupid weather: Much like the zombie schizophrenics who lumber up and down Elm Street, New Haven weather is simultaneously unpredictable and unpleasant, often changing from sixty degrees and sunny to forty and freezing in the course of a miserable morning.
2. Arriving at Union Station: Even typing the words "final stop" gives me the chills.
3. Koffee Too?: As much as I support local business, this place smells like moldy diapers.
4. Yale Post Office Workers: Speaking of diapers, the surly Star Jones look-a-like who runs the package counter recently taped a picture of her baby, lying in a disturbing playboy-type pose on a blanket, so that it faces away from her and towards the line, thus compelling me to stare at it for five minutes.
5. The jocky guy in the Davenport gym who changes the channel while I'm watching Jeopardy: The next time you climb onto the treadmill for your ten minute jog and flip to Laguna Beach, I'm going to rip your UnderArmour t-shirt off your back and strangle you with it.