To boost your spirits in this wintry weather, a list of phenomena, observations, and generally horrible things that validate my misanthropy:
1. The Most E-mailed article list for the NY Times website. Now that "Shamu" has stopped bubbling to the top like a festering sore, it's gotten a little less embarrassing. But it's disheartening that Times readers--a slightly higher echelon of humanity, one would hope--consistently feel the need to share any article with "love," "sex," or "children" in the headline.
2. The Modern Library's 100 Best Novels, as picked by readers. The academic list begins with Joyce, Fitzgerald, Nabokov. The popular vote instilled four Ayn Rand books and three L. Ron Hubbard novels in the top ten. This is why we need a philosopher king, people. Or at least a philosopher's electoral college...
3. Watching Wheel of Fortune at the gym. Although it's admittedly self-affirming to watch overweight, Midwestern Americans pay for an exorbitant amount of vowels.
4. Sudoku becomes more popular than crossword puzzles. It's like the equivalent of Hugh Grant cheating on Elizabeth Hurley with a tranny hooker.
5. ERC spends another Valentine's Day as a single lady. The causal relationship between #5 and her cynicism is ambiguous, sort of like the chicken and the egg.
This is what it feels like...when doves cry.