Thursday, February 15, 2007

Happy (day after) Valentine's Day!

To boost your spirits in this wintry weather, a list of phenomena, observations, and generally horrible things that validate my misanthropy:

1. The Most E-mailed article list for the NY Times website. Now that "Shamu" has stopped bubbling to the top like a festering sore, it's gotten a little less embarrassing. But it's disheartening that Times readers--a slightly higher echelon of humanity, one would hope--consistently feel the need to share any article with "love," "sex," or "children" in the headline.

2. The Modern Library's 100 Best Novels, as picked by readers. The academic list begins with Joyce, Fitzgerald, Nabokov. The popular vote instilled four Ayn Rand books and three L. Ron Hubbard novels in the top ten. This is why we need a philosopher king, people. Or at least a philosopher's electoral college...

3. Watching Wheel of Fortune at the gym. Although it's admittedly self-affirming to watch overweight, Midwestern Americans pay for an exorbitant amount of vowels.

4. Sudoku becomes more popular than crossword puzzles. It's like the equivalent of Hugh Grant cheating on Elizabeth Hurley with a tranny hooker.


5. ERC spends another Valentine's Day as a single lady. The causal relationship between #5 and her cynicism is ambiguous, sort of like the chicken and the egg.

This is what it feels like...when doves cry.

5 comments:

i know i'm whatever said...

I can understand DUNE and ATLAS SHRUGGED beating out John Dos Passos on the "popular" book list, but what the hell is A TOWN LIKE ALICE (by Nevil Shute) and how did it beat THE GRAPES OF WRATH, which I've..uh...heard of?

The Chaunce said...

dude youre a liar, you arent single. everybody knows youre married to that "most beautiful girl at yale" article...

NickAntosca said...

I'd bet it wasn't Prince playing when that picture was taken, though. I'd bet it was some winsome indie thing.

elmrockcity said...

I remember the exact song: Akon - Smack That.

NickAntosca said...

Oh, excellent. "I Want to Fuck You" is such an affectingly sleazy song. His voice is like a razor. It's like there's an insane sex robot from the future.