Wednesday, October 18, 2006

airing out my grievances

While walking into Durfee's Convenience Shoppe (that is exactly how Yale spells it) yesterday morning, I was deterred by two new additions. Please keep in mind that this criticism is by no means directed at the shoppe's employees--who, contrary to popular belief, I have always found to be quite affable--but rather at the unseen hand of Yale middle management, no doubt responsible for these heinous accruals.

1. The appearance of a Purell hand sanitizer outside the entrance. To a convenience store? Really? This extraneity--no doubt paid for with pennies plucked from my unanticipated contribution to the Senior Activity Fund--can only mean one thing: Durfee's is legitimizing my petty theft of candy.

2. The sale of an $8 bag of dried, organic pineapple rings. Look like anuses (anni?). Enough said.

3. The new sign placed on a post outside, which reads:
con‧ven‧ience[kuhn-veen-yuhns] Pronunciation Key - Show IPA Pronunciation
–noun
1.the quality of being convenient; suitability.
2.anything that saves or simplifies work, adds to one's ease or comfort, etc., as an appliance, utensil, or the like.
3.a convenient situation or time: at your convenience.
4.advantage or accommodation: a shelter for the convenience of travelers.
5.Chiefly British. water closet (def. 1).
I hate it when advertisers, copywriters, idiot HR people making powerpoint presentations, etc. use "the dictionary definition" as a resource. And I can just imagine some shrill manager hanging up that sign, pointing at the definition and reading it aloud to the cashiers, then crossing his arms, smugly pleased with his idea and his access to a dictionary.

1 comment:

The ACTUAL God said...

Excellent point re: dictionary definitions, especially in advertising. Shoppe is played out.